Ironic
by alien09
Summary: He wanted Berry to hurt the same way she had hurt him. Speculation one-shot for JustAmazing. Spoilers up to 1x13. Puckleberry.


_**Speculative piece set just before Rachel does her solo. Puckleberry-tinged. Duh. My attempt to forestall the supposed oncoming Finchel (because gag me – he's used and abused our little diva enough!).**_

_**One-shot requested by JustAmazing.**_

Puck watched Finn speak with Rachel before her solo, cutting his eyes back and forth between the petite brunette and Quinn. As he shrugged off his jacket and pulled on the black button-up Kurt had forced upon him, he couldn't help thinking that this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

He had thought once the truth was out there, Finn would get over it. Yeah, okay, that was completely irrational and stupid but Finn was just _Finn_. The guy pretty much perfected the puppy dog look and Puck had watched, half-disgusted, as Quinn and Rachel fell all over themselves trying to make good by him. Puck didn't think it had once crossed Finn's mind that no one had even considered what Puck had felt like, forced to wait by the sidelines and getting lambasted by Mercedes for being selfish for wanting to be part of his baby's life.

'I want to raise the baby by myself. I don't need the added stress. You might not understand why, but you can at least respect my decision,' Quinn had told him, eyes red-rimmed and her cheeks sticky with shed tears.

'Whatever,' Puck mumbled under his breath, reaching for the red tie and looping it under his collar. The door to the change room flung open and ricocheted against the wall. Puck ducked his head around the corner and didn't know whether to feel irritated or something else completely negative when he caught sight of the back of Rachel's head. Her shoulders were rocking up and down jerkily, and he saw her run her hands through her chocolate hair.

_Shit, was she crying?_

Before he could decide whether or not to make his presence known, Rachel spun around and issued a wet sounding gasp. Hastily wiping under her eyes with the back of her hand, she sucked in an inaudible breath and flickered her gaze away from his.

'I didn't think anyone was in here,' she told him defensively. Puck stood there, fingers playing with the end of the red silk.

_She told Finn. She told Finn. She told Finn._

_Why?_

Puck had been pissed when he'd found out Berry had been the one to spill the proverbial beans. He'd clenched and unclenched his fists and Mike had took a tentative step backwards. Puck had thought that the one week they had been together – the times they had rolled around in her bed, teeth and lips pulling against each other with smiles; when she had sat on his knee and washed away the flavoured ice from his head with a tenderness no one had ever shown him before; the way her face had beamed when he'd strummed "Sweet Caroline" and leaned his face close towards hers – that the one week would maybe had made her _consider _the fact that there was someone else she knew that would bear the repercussions for her decision to tell Finn.

'Here to take a swing at me too Berry?' Puck muttered dryly instead.

Rachel appeared stricken. 'Noah, you know that-'

'Save me the sob story Berry. We both know why you told Finn, and it had nothing to do with me,' Puck spoke the words cuttingly, wondering why it bothered him so much. Because Quinn was free now. She could fall into his arms and they could raise their daughter together…

_Except she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Again._

The ends of Rachel's lips quivered and Puck thought she was going to cry again. Guilt wanted to edge its way towards his consciousness, but he pushed it back down with a vengeance.

He wanted Berry to hurt the same way she had hurt him.

'It's obvious you have already made up your mind-'

'Did you ever stop and _think_ huh? You wanted in Finn's pants, _I get that_. But did you have to fuck up my life? Quinn's? What about Finn? Do you really think he's better off _knowing_?' Puck shouted, his voice rising and echoing off the small enclosed walls. He swallowed, remembering the way his best friend (_former_, Puck corrected himself bitterly) could no longer look at him.

Rachel gaped at him for a moment before her jaw snapped shut with an audible click.

'And we are simply going to dismiss the fact that you voluntarily strung Finn along? You and Quinn hid your act of infidelity and the _child _it produced from someone whose only sin was to love the both of you!' Rachel wasn't yelling but Puck thought she may as well have been. 'I admit that my reasons for telling Finn were purely self-centered-'

'So you admit it then?' Puck interrupted. Rachel's eyes blazed as she jabbed a finger at his chest.

'Yes, I do. I thought Finn would break up with Quinn but we both know that once he's had time to process this, he'll go back to her.' Puck could tell that this was difficult to swallow for his ex-girlfriend. 'Because they don't love either of us Puck! They love each other. And sometimes…sometimes it's better to just take a bow.'

'You don't know that,' Puck retorted, angling his head closer to hers. Rachel let out a cynical chuckle that Puck had never heard from her before and when he blinked, he saw the resignation etched deep into the lines of her face.

Another blink and it was gone.

'Quinn told me she was grateful I told Finn. She wasn't mad at me, and she didn't take up my offer to physically assault me as recompense.'

_Physically assault? What the hell?_

'She said she wants to do this alone. I've spent these last few months trying to fucking _prove myself _and Quinn doesn't want any of that shit,' Puck found himself telling Rachel, forgetting how easy it was to just…let go around her. He hadn't thought it possible but once it was just the two of them, Rachel wasn't this abrasive diva that Puck had never liked. She was just a girl and he was just a guy. They were two people circling towards something, something that had both freaked Puck out and made him anxious with a good kind of anticipation.

_At least before I dumped her ass._

The pity in her eyes made him snap. 'Quit looking at me like I'm some kind of two-bit-'

'Noah,' Rachel sighed as if he were an idiot and Puck stopped talking. She hesitantly laid a hand on her arm. Puck didn't move away, staying quiet as she bit the side of her bottom lip.

'Despite the fact that our relationship was built on false pretenses, in the short time that you afforded me the opportunity I realized that there is more to you than what you pretend to be. The fact that you _want _to be involved in Quinn's life after the pregnancy is proof enough that there is good in you.'

Puck snorted, his eyes jumping away when her stare became a little bit too intense.

'I know you said that we could never be friends, but I'm here if you need someone,' her offer was too good, too _much_ to be true.

'What about Finn?' He couldn't help asking. Rachel's face fell and her hand dropped away, his skin still warm from her touch. Puck jerked it back, tucking it behind his tailbone.

'Finn is my friend as well. I'm not going to shun him because it'll make you feel better.'

_Shit. He'd forgotten she was like psychic._

'All three of you are going to need our support.' She was looking at him like she had done in the hallway the day before, before he had gone to sit next to Quinn.

_I'm sorry but I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you. _

_Yeah, okay_, he was sure his own green irises had told her.

Rachel was gazing up at him, hopeful and chastised. Puck cleared his throat, scratching his temple and his eyes jumping around the room. Finally, when Rachel made no move to fill the silence pressing down on the both of them, Puck graced her with a look that looked torn between gratefulness and indifference.

She gave him a tiny smile, one that was uncertain. 'Do you need help with your tie?' She asked, gesturing towards the fabric hanging limply from his collar. Puck shrugged and she stepped closer, so close he could feel the warmth radiating off her frame.

Rachel's fingers whispered against the fabric, feathering across his chest and making the skin underneath sing like a ballad. He tamped down the urge to shiver as her chest grazed against his abdomen as she did the knot expertly. Puck reasoned it was because he could see down the top of her dress. That was it.

'There,' she murmured, patting the finished Windsor knot softly.

'Thanks,' he replied, shifting awkwardly. The door opened again and he saw Finn narrow his eyes in anger when he saw Puck standing there. Puck's stomach dropped like lead.

'Hey Rach, it's almost time,' Finn said evenly. Rachel nodded her head and sucked in a deep breath.

_Dude, I didn't think it was possible considering the fact that she thinks her life is some kind of musical that's still a work-in-progress._

'You'll kick ass Berry. Chillax.' He placed a palm over her small shoulder and squeezed it gently, almost affectionately. Finn made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a growl and Rachel shot the tall quarterback a warning look.

'I appreciate the support Puck,' she said, still tentative. But Puck noticed (with a detached sense of pride) that she seemed less nervous now.

'That's what friends are for right?' He called out just as she disappeared through the door. She spun around and stared, her doe eyes wide as saucers before her features creased into a genuine grin.

Puck felt his chest leap and wondered why it did.

He couldn't resist peeking through the curtains as Rachel belted out "Don't Rain On My Parade" with gusto, her gestures gaining in confidence as she made her way towards the stage.

Maybe being friends with Rachel Berry wasn't such a bad thing after all, Puck thought glancing at Finn. Because Puck didn't think many people were going to be in his corner now that the truth was out there, now that Quinn had tried her hardest to put more distance between him, her and his baby.

He would take what he could get.

_It's like good advice that you just didn't take_, Puck thought remembering the words Rachel had spoken minutes before about taking a bow. He wasn't quite ready to do that; at least he didn't think he was.

_Quinn stepping towards Finn, tearful and pleading, telling him to stay with her as Puck looked on impassively. At least, on the surface._

Puck shook his head, letting the curtain fall as Matt nudged him to get in place. Berry actually making sense about something (maybe).

_Isn't it ironic?_


End file.
